My soul is screaming in ecstasy
Every fiber of my being
is in love with you
has lit a fire in my heart
the earth and sky
My arrow of love
has arrived at the target
I am in the house of mercy
and my heart
is a place of prayer ~~Rumi
Some say eclipses can be inauspicious, some think it brings disease and pestilence. Some consider them to herald the abdication of a king, but what is probably most profound about a solar eclipse is the fact that when this happens, the dark side of the Moon is illuminated. More like blasted with the Solar rays. It is a photonic bombardment and it happens hidden from the treacherous and inexperienced eyes of humanity. Forgive the cryptic phraseology, this eclipse is on my Jupiter, in my 11th house and Mars/Merc is not conjunct, albeit widely to my Saturn and Natal Mercury and tightly conjunct my Sun! People like me with a 12th house stellium speak the tongue of symbolism.
“Symbols can be so beautiful, sometimes.” ~
And sometimes they be painful, poignant and seeped in melancholia. It is consciousness that gives it meaning. What a day of incredible shifts…
You know why I think the eclipses have a bad name is because the eclipse disrupts the synodic cycle which is symbolic of the flow of life force of Chi. If disruptions occur above, they do so below as well. The Moon is the feminine or the IDA nadi and she becomes becomes super charged with the masculine “sperm” or the solar rays that create life in her fertile womb. The Moon is also emotions and our connective ability and the Sun is our male self, our conscious extroverted ego and when these two become one, magick happens. The alchemical marriage!
Eclipses always involve the nodes of the moon and this one involves Rahu or the North Node and rahu is about additions. In fifteen days will be the lunar eclipse in Capricorn involving Ketu or the South Node which is about subtraction. The thing is, what are we adding to the equation of our lives? Reflection alert. What is that truth? Don’t let Jupiter/Neptune square take that away from you.
And when we speak of Cancer we speak of childhood, the mother archetype, psychic awareness, a richness of emotions, a flooding of memories from many lifetimes which leads to an intensification of emotions that can break us by shaping into a heartless tsunami or it can metamorphose into a life giving mirage. Water can be equally a life saver and it can kill you.
I meant drown you with emotions, unprocessed feelings and psychic information which apparently does not make sense. It does not make sense because human comprehension is dwarfed when we speak of such realms. But those realms of psychic awareness and depth exist and today this eclipse digs up all that debris and our deepest self is exposed. To whom? To our own selves. Who is then doing the action and who is the observer? As if this can be answered under this sensitive and melancholic NM eclipse opposite Saturn and Pluto. Let’s not forget the SN or Ketu.
Mercury has stationed retrograde in my 12th house of death, loss and dissolution and the eclipse is on my 11th which deals with larger communities and the internet. Guess what happened? I had already typed over 4000 words and then suddenly my line crashed and before I could save it, my UPS crashed and I lost it all. I was pretty devastated as I have tons of planets in Leo, a stellium and this made me feel like, Oh no, this Mercury RX is not going to be easy on me and my information. I went back to doing my work with the tarot for my clients and then I began to work with the energy of Archangel Raphael. Although he is not the angel we associate with Cancer, it is Gabriel, but I felt compelled to work with him and his green shield. The shield is for a woman who needs an immediate kidney transplant but her body is not ready to accept a foreign object or surgical intrusion.
Mars entered Leo as well yesterday and loosing all this work was a Martian curse. I do have a Manglik dasha problem which means a problematic Mars. Mars in Leo brings in a different type of showmanship and enterprise. Mars in the 12th can be problematic, but then nothing is ever easy for seekers on the spiritual path.
After I finished working with this green shield, I sat lost in meditation which is when a client from New Orleans sends me a picture. I open my phone and stare at it. It was the figure of Jesus Christ on the cross. Make no mistake, I love, love, love him, but today there was something different. It felt like he looked at me. Yes directly at me and his face radiated such compassion and wisdom that I started crying, falling to the floor. I have had lucid dreams before, but what followed after was something I could only intuit because of my delving into astrology. Neptune is RX on my Moon in the 7th opposing my Venus, Mars and Ascendant. Believe me, the experience I had with the divine masculine is probably the reason I have been on the journey of understanding twinflames for the last decade.
Today the eclipse and the NM opposite Saturn/Pluto and SN conspired to reveal something so glorious that I am actually left speechless. Which is not necessarily bad with Merc stationing RX in Leo and the Psychopomp or the Spirit Messenger is bringing messages from the spirit world and I have never been so grateful. So blessed to have experienced something so phenomenal. I think I waited for this experience for an eternity.
In my lucid dream, he was standing in front of me and all I knew is that he is my beloved. A beloved so close to my heart that he can hear me breathe from the inside out. He pulls me up from the floor and I stare at him through tear filled eyes. I cannot totally see his face. I can see the outline, but nothing definite. His features are a blur, but I remember his eyes as they looked at me and at that moment I understood the journey of twinflames like Rumi, Mirabai and Teresa of Avila.
I understood what she meant when she wrote…
My heart goes into You
As the polish goes into the gold.
As the lotus lives in its water,
I live in You.
I felt myself drown into a black hole and I could hear what Mirabai wrote for her beloved Krishna…
Like the bird
That gazes all night
At the passing moon,
I have lost myself dwelling in You.
O my Beloved Return…
Today under this Cancer NM, came a promise fulfilled…he has returned and has taken me into his arms and I surrender with ecstatic rapture. Was the man in my arms Jesus? Or was he Krishna? Or was he a figment of my imagination?
I could not stop crying because he atoned for sins he did not commit and he symbolizes the greatest sacrifice and humanity owes him a debt they cannot repay. For his love stands supreme and we need only to humbly bow before his sacrifice and he was mine. He looked at me and pierced the veil of illusion…I saw in his eyes, a micro copy of the univere. There were stars and galaxies inside them.
The black hole sucked us inside as I surrendered to his embrace and then we were ejected into a nebulous cloud. It felt surreal, it felt like a dozen Suns were shining their light on us and electrical waves were cackling in the air. I was not even in my conscious mind as I stared at the divine spectacle in front of me. The whole thing felt like some kind of cinema projection, surreal and fantastic. Neptune RX square Jupiter can bring such experiences if you’re ready.
Deep within me I knew this was the one of the most authentic experiences I have ever had. The colors in front were spectacular. I mean I have always been fascinated with the photos of deep space, galaxies and nebulae that Hubble has taken over the years. I regularly spend hours in the NASA website staring at what lies above and spend much time studying astronomy, so I am no space virgin.
Those stellar nurseries, those galaxies, those nebulae enchanted me for years but what I saw before me was nothing like I can ever describe. It felt as if the stellar dust began to take shape vibing from my energy. Wait no, it was not just my energy. It was also his. Whatever was being projected for me to see was the eternal play of the divine feminine and the divine masculine and today I get to see a small glimpse. I could not be more enthralled.
It was only after I woke up from the lucid dream that I began to wonder why did the divine masculine decide to take the form of Jesus Christ. I mean why was he not blue like Krishna or why did he not play the dumroo like Shiva. Could it have been Babaji? He always reminded me of Christ. I don’t know. My limited mind can only call him the TWINFLAME!
At that moment, there was not reality before me but us and my entire being was filled with this WHOLENESS. There is no better way to describe this. I felt like nothing was not the way it was meant to be. I understood every abuse, every hurt, every wound and none of that mattered any more. All that mattered was the love I felt and as I concentrated on the love, everything shifted. I began to lose my bodily consciousness. I was the stellar nursery. I was the spiral galaxy. I was the black hole. I was also him. He did not exist outside anymore as I knew he had merged with me. I did not even miss him or look for him….
Mirabai’s words rang out…O my beloved…return and he had returned. He was within me and there will never ever be another moment of separation between us. Incredibly, this love that I felt for him began to expand to include all things. I was consumed by love. Mad, intoxicating love and I began to laugh and cry at the same time.
“Don’t forget love;
it will bring all the madness you need
to unfurl yourself across
the universe.” ~
This unconditional love that I was experiencing felt like sweet, sweet nectar. Wait! Is this what my ancestors called SOMA? Unconditional love you feel for your beloved..
O my companion, worldly comfort is illusion,
As soon you get it, it goes.
I have chosen the indestructible for my refuge,
Him whom the snake of death will not devour.
My beloved dwells in my heart all day,
I have actually seen that abode of joy.
Meera’s lord is Hari, the indestructible. ~Mirabai
With a new understanding of love, I realized that all these years the twinflame I was looking for, has finally found me and left me today, in ecstasy. Nothing mattered anymore. Not my name, not my body, not my mind, for everything was pulled into the vortex of unitary consciousness. And all was love. Not the way I had perceived love. Not the way I had imagined love would feel, because this love was everywhere. It emanated from deep within my heart and soul and engulfed all reality and beyond.
Rumi, Rumi, Rumi…now I understand what you meant when you said…
From the beginning of my life
I have been looking for your face
but today I have seen it
Today I have seen
the charm, the beauty,
the unfathomable grace
of the face
that I was looking for…
All my life has always been about finding that true love. That love which surpasses all of creation, but I had never found it. Because in this world, men and women do not know about this love. Before I was mature, I thought I was looking for a man, but today it was clear. I was not looking for any particular man, I was looking for the divine masculine to awaken this deep samadhi state in me where all I felt is love. My whole being was love…nothing mattered and everything made sense with this new compass, with this new vibration and I stayed in this state till my baby rushed in and began to shake my body.
Mummy, wake up, mummy wake up is what I heard at a distance and suddenly I began to become aware of body consciousness. I felt the flesh and bones take shape. The weight of my body made itself felt and I slowly slipped out of the lucid dream. My baby was staring at me and as I stared at her, I could just see crazy colors dance around. I looked around and felt purple hues everywhere.
I opened my phone to see the image as if to make sure that this experience was real. There he was, the Christ on his cross. His face, an enigma! My heart burst with love at his sight and I knew he is within me. He is inside me and it felt oddly reassuring and strangely erotic. But there was so much peace in my sou now that I went ahead to care for my baby’s needs and then return to my meditation.
Chiron is about to be retro in my 8th house and even before that has happened, deep revelations are being made. My Sun is on the 0 degree of Leo and this Merc retro and with Mars in there, it feels like this will be one wild ride. I still haven’t made sense of this experience so maybe I have not done justice in communicating it to you, but Merc RX does mean that we become more internally oriented. We tune in and I think this is what happened. I understood why I was looking for my twinflame all these years…I was looking for this crazy connection, but it can only be had with the Beloved.
You can call him Krishna, Shiva or Jesus, it does not matter. He decided to come to me as the Christ today, complete with the cross and the reminder of his sacrifice. It reminded me of the Pelican who would rip off her own chest to feed her young. Sacrifice is an essential part of love, which is why Jesus came as my beloved, for this is something I have always had to work through. Pisces Moon and this is the sign of Jesus Christ. His era was the era of Pisces.
Finally, I am ready, ready Beloved to be strung upside down and hang for seven eternities only to be reunited with you. Sacrifice is Cancer because the sign of the crab is Christ filled. The soul ruler of Cancer is Neptune who rules Pisces and with Jupiter the teacher squaring Neptune, this is about psychic and spiritual energy being magnified tens of billions of times.
I was still unpacking this fantastic experience in my mind, when I decided to google Teresa of Avila and the four steps to her mysticism sounded very much like the Vedantin samadhi. She divides the mystical experience into Devotion of the Heart, Devotion of Peace, Devotion of Union and ultimately Devotion of Ecstasy which is the supreme state of samadhi.
Going through her writings, it felt like she experiences this crazy pang for her Jesus as Mirabai did for Govinda and Rumi did for his beloved and what I felt all these years…how could I think that this love would be of this world?
At night on my bed I longed for my only love.
The love I feel for him is like the flame that can never be extinguished. My Moon in Pisces wants to be subsumed with this Christ consciousness. Christ is the mediator and savior, the solver and separator, who is a sword, for he is the “penetrating spirit” “more piercing than a two-edged sword” and today that sword pierced through my illusion. Pierced the veil of Maya.
Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other. Rainer Maria Rilke
Today he came to me in the form of Jesus and he opened me to love like never before…this Chiron is actually a higher dimensional key and for me it opened up the mystery of the twinflame and I was redeemed…the NN eclipse offers soul growth, but can it ever be so exponential? So rapid? Is that even possible?
As I read somewhere that we are a tribe of HOLY LOVERS and we have incarnated to show others the potency and magic of this love and what better time than a NM and eclipse in the watery sign of Cancer opposite Saturn/Pluto and Ketu in Cap? Holy lovers can never forget the love of the beloved and we yearn for the twinflame because 3D causes illusion and ignorance. This ignorance or avidya is at the heart of all spiritual malaise and if Teresa of Avila was with us right now, she’d be very much triggered by this Cancer/Capricorn polarity.
Sometimes an arrow of love pierces the heart and penetrates the deepest core of the soul so that she doesn’t know what has happened or what she wants, except that all she wants is God. She feels like the arrow has been dipped in a poisonous herb that makes her reject herself for love of him. She would gladly give up her life for him. It’s impossible to explain the way God wounds the soul or to exaggerate the agony it causes. It makes the soul forget herself entirely. Yet this pain carries such exquisite pleasure that no other pleasure in life can compare to that happiness. The soul longs to die of this beautiful wound!
—Teresa of Avila, THE BOOK OF MY LIFE
I don’t even regret loosing the astrological report I made for you…yes there was tons of astro discussion, but somehow today it is different as today I am different and today I love you, like I never did before. Today I am pregnant with creativity and Christ consciousness, you do know Cancer is the sign of fertility and the womb.
Then I remembered that the Sabian symbol of this NM is “A clown making grimaces” and I laughed. Comedy for me has always been a coping mechanism or shall I re-phrase it and call it what it really is, the greatest healing tool. Decondition your mind with laughter, it is after all the best medicine. Purge what needs to go with laughter and use it wisely to remain from becoming too attached to the 3D world.
Dr. Jones, creator of the Sabian Symbols, says this is a degree of “the continual self-rehearsal by which … we maintain our characteristics,” and indicates which activities we can engage in or reject without penalty. He states “here is an emphasis on the ridiculous as an instructive exaggeration of human nature, or as an exhibition of its inadequacies in a direct stimulation to better self-realizations.”
He offers us the keyword INIMITABILITY, and states when operating positively, this degree is “effective sharpening of an individual’s dominant or everyday impact on others.” ~~Aquarius Papers
Yes this was personal, but Cancer is personal. It is the friend next door who will always empathize. I swam with the tide. I let myself, my emotions drift with the Cancerian waters and I regret it not.
My emotional body is active and very very awake right now as I send you much love because you have, by reading this, become a part of my twinflame journey. My journey to my Christ and I am ready to birth…my womb is ready, my metaphoric breasts are ready to suckle and nurture this creation for posterity. Do you feel me??
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Tags: Ancestors, Astrology, Cancer, Chiron, Eclipse and New Moon in Cancer 2019 July 2nd opposite Saturn Pluto South Node, humanity, Jesus Christ, Mars in Leo, Mercury Retrograde, Mercury RX lEO, New Moon, Teresa Avila